My poker improved after small ball

912 am may 10. After just watching daniel negraenu small ball tutorial on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iuDQe-DR50

it seems like my grow eyes on the enemy cards and motivation

like one who push all in, i have 88 with board j7q and i know the enemy has nothing because why would he push all in if he had something? i call with nothing.

the other one is i call with a low pair at flop, then turn i still bet pretending i had something.

Wow now i dont even need to memorize method, i just had to know the enemy

It is very important to take notes while studying a book

It is very important to take down notes after scanning a book.

1. Scan the book.
2. Understand the contents of the book.
3. Take down notes of the importatn points.

Taking down notes cyrstalizes my memory and thinking. It is a very important step.

For Sybex OCA study guide in .pdf format, i use copy paste the important points to a word doc.

Love something is probably most important knowledge i have

Found it today while writing the treasure chest for you.

Find something you love. And continue loving it. Find something you are crazy about.

Like karate, or Oracle, or Poetry, or Poker.

This is properly the ultra method that will carry you during all difficult times.

The best way to motivate yourself

If you are feeling down or questioning your abilities during a failure.

Look back at the things you have done and accomplish, hell even learning to spell or to walk, or to be alive is a big accomplishment.

Looking back i have achieve a lot of things, like getting to sleep with your mom :). Or get 4% below passing grade for MYSQL exam with only one month of study no practical during chinese new year.


And brains is not the most important thing. Loving what you do is. Loving the object is the most important thing.

Love is. It is very important to love.

Misc thoughts havent sorted but properly important

-Religion is properly technology on the process of the mind.
-April 25: Detachment is properly the metaprogram to get away from the hold of the old programs.
-All is mind

-Run, dont walk - A linux guru
This lets me makes mistakes. Rush toward life. Try something new. Stop criticizing myself. Get excited about life. Feel the pleasure of rushing.

- Run Lola Run, a german film is a good spiritual film.

-Poker can be used to think about all human interaction.

-A collegue told me some useful words:
If you dont work, what would you do?
If he can do it, why cant you do it?

-Extreme Ying and yang. The method i teach you are mostly yang war mode for day time. But at night time or certain day time, need ying mode like forgiveness and yielding. The two mode must exist together.

- I just realize the world of illusion the Hindus say is actually the animal world. The animal is only concern with survival. THe animal cannot see that we will die and all of this doesnt matter.

-Reading philosophy books gives me consciousness, see things i cannot see. I only see 10% of this world, philosophy open my eyes to see the 70% rest of the things in this world. It is like adding colors to grey buildings. Language is actually a collection of pointers. Philosophy is the huge package of pointers for consciousness.

-I study oracle on bus, small chunks, not more than 2 hours, because the brain need rest. DOnt try to cram studying, instead study it in small chunks.

-Happiness is probably having the confidence to know that you can handle all difficulties that comes along.

-Studying Oracle is like studying a forest. All man made things is actually a part of evolution, like complex cyrstal forming, like the patterns of Go board game

The ultra method: Break it down

This method properly can work for ALL your thinking about difficult situation. All difficult situation is actually related to survival and resources. It is properly more effective than all the detachement, no ego, methods etc. Because it is direct active confrontation like karate not passive hiding like forgiveness.

Thus breaking things down to manageble pieces will make you in control instead of the situation controlling you.

-Break things down into smaller pieces
-Pretend it is actually easy
-Give yourself a small reward for all task done. Trains the brain
-Accept suffering. This is my old metamethod read old treasure chest in emails.
-It is actually more easy than learning how to spell, it is like natural soaking. Remember how difficult it was to learn how to spell when you were little.
-DO it the slow fast way to have quality and speed later. Like wine fermitation. Like the building up of influence in go.

The book to help you is

The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play (Paperback)

by Neil Fiore

My life now is a bit like Shamo

Shamo by Izo Hashimoto is a manga depicting a boy, that is a genius but killed his parents, got thrown into jail, and then discovered karate, and become a professional fighter and gigolo.

My life is of course not that extreme, but it folow a similiar pattern. I was a very nice guy with badness i was not awared of. I need to psychologically kill my parents in order to break out of their neurotism. I discovered poker, karate, chronicals of Ridick, to be a bit bad guy to balance my personality. Thick black theory would not work, but practice like poker and karate.

It is a journey.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamo_(manga)

The comic can be read for free in www.onemange.com.

The only one method that can bring happiness

Work very hard.

If i were to pass you only one knowledge, this would be it.

All other methods are superficial and would not work without the above method. The method is the mother of all methods. If you cannot control your physical world, all the rest 590 methods would not work to bring you happiness.

All experts once are lousy and dont know also, the only thing they to become is expert is

practice, practice, practice - A great samurai

As reported in the book "Outliners" all experts need 10,000 hours work to reach where they are. No matter if it is karate, chess, oracle, yoga, cooking, poker, sells, or even xbox, need constant practice.

A sellsman once ask a guru is there any special technique to make sells. The guru ask the sellsman to make cold calls 100 times a day.

Grunt force is always the way to go, from my long experience of searching for special short cut techniques for anything: chess, poker, enlightenment, reality manifesting, oracle etc, short cuts most of the time dont work but grunt work always work, it is like the law of gravity.

In karate, a good gyaku need a standard of 1,000 repetitions a day to reach competence.

Formal sitting meditation is still king

Last night i meditated for about 1/2 -1 hour, slept for only 3-4 hours and today though a bit tired but i am much more alert and together then before; had been grumpy for about 2 months.

It seems like meditating before sleep can boost sleep quality and shorten sleep time.

Sitting meditation is still king, much better than ordinary day to day mindfulness, or karate, or Yoga Nidra. The linking of hands and feet during sitting meditation possibly resyn the body energy.

I could have hacked enlightenment 11:30pm May 03 here is the entire process

Tomorrow bring Ryan to new nanny, anxiety for Ryan, plus job stress.

Use the no self technique to meditate by imagining i have no self. No thinking method is much less effective than no self because self is the organizing principle that pushes thought generation
for self perservation. I have invented a new meditation system. The mind is similiar to a big city where there billions of objects interconnected to each other inside like people, phones, rats,
cars. The mind has more connections than atoms in the universe. But just take away some simple rules in the city like gravity, or the judicial law, and you the city system into chaos. The self is
the judicial law in the city, take away the law governing people and you take away the thought structure. And thus no self meditation can easily lead into no thought. The bhagavad gita system
of pulling back your senses like a turtle is no useful because there is still a self.

THen i go to bed but still stress. I use the NLP system "The structure of happiness" by xxxxxx; being unhappy is due to focusing on the internal self, and focusing narrowly, but being happy is
focusing on the external and focusing broadly eg like listening to all the sound outside the house. I use this technqiue, works, but the technique still requires effort and i notice strain.
Then i remember this parable by xxxxxx, see below. And i let go of control. And immediately i felt this great relieve, and the rush of excitement of going together with this river and great
excitement about life.


I then thought that life is a river. And this river somehow come into existence from nothingness. There must be organizing principal that brought all of this river into being including existence. I
came from this organizing principal and must go back to this organizing principal. The universe itself is life. And i am not afraid of death.

I also thought the planets is actually like atoms, life is actually a bunch of atoms interacting with each other like planets interact with each other. They are actually in the same oganizing
principal in a pyramid. Life is actually the organizing principal in a condense form. My ego self the mind is actually the planets interacting with each, my mind is actually the component of the universe, there is actually no separate me. The universe and i are like water though with different shape but are connected, the universe and i are one, there is no separate i. THe wars in this world are actually the same substance, the same organizing principal, interacting iwth each other like the waves on a sea. And i have no fear of death and no hatret or dislike. And when i
thought about my mistakes and shortcomings i cannot change, i thought of another more capable person take over me but he is actually the same substance, and i relax and dont care about
the mistake i made in work. I thought if anythign happend to my children, they are actually returning to the source and i have no fear.

I am in tremendous joy or bliss as they call it. I look at the clock it is 11:30pm.

THen i look outside at my eyelids from my eyes, "coming back to my body", before this i was looking a image in my mind about all the above, i felt a great anxiety, the usual stress coming back, what should i do for my work tomorrow, how should i handle Ryan.

I then thought one second ago i was so happy, knowing exactly what is the actual way the things are and have no fear. How come i am so stressed again? I analysis what have happened,
what is the difference of my state now and just a while ago. Then i found out that now i am using the first person perspective and before that i am using the third person perspective. During the bliss i was looking at myself from outside during the river parable (also the river parable could have tricked me into looking at a third person perspective), and the subsequent image about organizing principal and all are one universe are looking from a third person perspective.

I remember a DSP engineer paper on the debate of free will and determinism is actually the difference between the first person (free will) and the third person (determinism). I thought about reading NLP years ago about first person and thrid person perpective but never felt what it means. ANd all this years subconsicously i may have used the third person perspective to gain happiness; one some days my positive thinking method seems to work.


I realize tHe hindu system of no ego, detachment, oneness iwth the universe, everything is god, is actually from a third person perspective. Meditation training is actually the streightening of
the third person perspective perhaps by shutting down and activating certain brain centers that forms the thrid person perspective. The third person perspective is a 3d mind matrix that requires certain specific brain modules to be activated.

When i am using the thrid person perspecitve i am happy. when i am using the first person perspective i am in fear and stress.

Previously using nlp mehtod it did not work properly because i was straining to imaging the image details inthe third person perspective. Whereas now it work because i was unconsciously
usng the techque putting energy thinking about the vague image pattern and not empahsizing straining to see myself in third person

I tried to see myself in the thrid person perspective, and the original happiness came back, the same confidence and without fear.

it seems that animals are sually in the first person perspective, they are usually in fear when slaughtered. Human beings evolved the thrid person perpective as a result of evolution. Human
beings are aware of their death and need the third person perspective so they wont be stressed to death. But this third person perspective is not a illusion, because it is a result of evolution. Thoughts also memes is actually the direct result of the organizing principal which evolved
material existence, the base is the material existence the apex of the organzing principal pyramid is thougth, they are one and the same.


Came out for honey with crackers. Wife also cannot sleep. Write this down at 1am.

Now i finally understand NLP system. I finally understand how the difficult hindu system works. I understand how tao, christianity, kabalah system works. All because of using the thrid
person perspective. I understand why one someday my positive thinking methods work and some day they dont at all. I know how come motivation seminar works the day people attend them and after leaving the seminar the sytem dont work anymore, because the motivation
seminar puts the attendees into a third person perspective. Some books tried to explain why this fenome but did not find the key. The thrid and first person is the key. I have found a new key.

Practice practice practice

The only way to survive in this world is to be expert in something. And the only way to do that is practice, practice practice. There is no other way. This is the pillar of all happiness. Other things is secondary, hard work always come first.

"It may sound silly but the key to self-confidence and building more self-esteem is through practice. Practice what it is you want to feel more confident about and eventually, the confidence will show itself. That makes sense if we're talking about a skill like playing the piano. With enough practice, you naturally begin to get good at it and then you feel more confident. But what about tougher things like public speaking or meeting new people? How do you practice something that you're terrified to do in the first place?

If you have extreme self-esteem issues then you might want to seek professional help, but if you've determined that isn't necessary, I would suggest that you start out by finding something that you genuinely love to do. Other than maybe reading books or doing crossword puzzles over coffee, most hobbies are a good place to start. Do you love to paint? Do you love to play a musical instrument? Do you love athletics? Find something that you love to do or that you think you would love to do. It's not important what it is other than that it would bring you into contact with people on a tiny level. Unless you're living in a cave somewhere, somebody is going to see your art work, hear your music, or see you running around practicing your sport. You don't have to pick a big team oriented thing, just something that fascinates you and will be noticeable. Then do it. Learn to draw, take music lessons, start playing basketball in your own driveway, whatever, just start doing something that you can really enjoy.

Keep doing it until you get really good at it. It doesn't have to necessarily be your career, but that would be fun for you if it was. Practice often and with complete joy. Lose yourself in it. That's part of overcoming self-confidence issues is forgetting to think about you. Swim laps at the pool until you forget to care how you look. Get lost in something other than analyzing yourself. Fall in love with some hobby that takes your mind away from what others might think of you. Just keep practicing something you love until you get really good at it. It's your hobby and your love, so don't make any judgments over whether or not it's stupid to like doing whatever it is that you like doing. Just get on with it.

When you're in the moment -- writing music or designing websites or whatever it is you've chosen, take a moment to reflect on how far you've come. At some point, you're going to realize that you're not too bad. At another point, you'll even think, "Hey, I'm pretty good at this." Someday, you'll look up and notice that you're an expert or at the very least awesome at what you've chosen to do. Take that growing self-confidence that's connected to your hobby and begin channeling it into other areas. Depending on how much of a self-esteem problem you started out with it could be a matter of months or years before you are able to really see yourself in a new light. It's one thing to say that everyone has their unique and special talent. It's quite another to find and embrace your own.

Your talent will not be something you hate doing. Sure, I'm really very good at scrubbing the bathroom. You can conduct a white glove inspection when I'm done, but that's not my special talent. That's not my special gift to the world. And it sure as heck never built an ounce of self-confidence for me. No, you have to really truly deeply love what it is you're doing or the talent won't show itself. You have to forget to think and lose all track of time while zoning out in the flow of creating, building, stretching, and growing with the hobby. Get to the point that when you look up and notice what you've done, that you're impressed with yourself. Practice until you get to that point where you forget to judge yourself. You could very well end up making it into your career if there's a market for it. If there isn't, no harm done. You have got to build a can-do attitude around your ability to do something well.

Once you've learned something that well, you can begin stretching beyond your comfort zone and trying other things like public speaking. Okay so that might not happen right away, but once you've really mastered something, then you can always remind yourself that you are capable of success and you are capable of learning something new. Once you know that you can practice and learn new things, then the fear of new things isn't nearly so immobilizing. You can step beyond your fears knowing that with enough practice you can master almost anything you set your mind to. At that point, you won't actually have a self-esteem problem anymore.

The point is that by playing around with something you love until you are very good at it, you will gain self-esteem and that is going to make it possible for you to hold your head high and to bravely step into other more frightening areas of life. Start out by practicing at something you love until you're good at it, then move on to the other things that don't sound like much fun at all. You'll really know deep down that there's nothing to be afraid of. It all comes down to whether or not you believe that you are capable of learning something new. That's all. Self-confident people reassure themselves when walking into unknown territory by saying, "Well, I'll just have to wing it until I learn how to do it right. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough." That comes from experiencing the positive effects of having practiced and learned something new. So go learn something new -- start with something fun.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

Poker is considerable harder than Oracle

Because a lot of people knows small ball system, just look up youtube.

And learning poker is considerable easier than Oracle, so a lot of people is good at poker, but Oracle there is not much competition and much more steadier and sure to reach the top.

Nice link on small ball strategy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iuDQe-DR50

Do research to solve any problem

1. Search engine on the internet.
2. Search in Amazon. Read the reviews.
3. Look up in Singapore library search engine.
4. Ask in Forums.
5. Search internet for free books. "book title" "free book"
6. Search it up youtube.com

For the very important good oracle and sql books i need to understand the complex subject of Oracle, enjoyablely. I type

"best Oracle books" or "best plsql books". A good book makes all the difference. Reading a good book is the highest pleasure in this world. It makes you life in control.

Two best poker books - Small ball strategy

1. Power Holdem Strategy by Daniel Negreanu
Chapter on Negreanu small ball strategy. Read the reviews in Amazon

2. Heads up no limit poker holdem by Collin Moshman
Chapter on playing without looking at your cards.

Poker hero:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annette_Obrestad

A good detachment book

The Detachment Paradox (Paperback)

by Anthony Zolezzi
http://www.amazon.com/Detachment-Paradox-Anthony-Zolezzi/dp/0975315706

Are you a P.O.W. (Prisoner of Work)?

Anthony Zolezzi, author of "The Detachment Paradox," wants to set you free.

Now, there are a lot of skinny business buzzword books that bump across my desk here at The Journal, and some of them are actually good for something.

Like leveling a wobbly table.

Or being shredded and used for a hamster cage.

So I approached Zolezzi's bright yellow work with a healthy dollop of skepticism.

Having said that, I found a lot to like in this easy-to-read book - probably because his job and life philosophies intersect with mine.

Zolezzi's main point (and my primary operating belief) is simple: It's just a job. It's not your life.

So detach from it a little. Physically. Mentally.

Zolezzi talks about how to adjust your attitude, at work and at home, not just to reduce stress, but to do a better job. Really.

"I believe that once you start the process of detachment, you will not only be happier and more productive, but - and here's the paradox - you are likelier to earn more money from the very company whose psychological control you've managed to escape," Zolezzi writes.

Now, he's not saying to stroll in and give Mr. Control-Freak Boss a big wet sloppy kiss, and the raging idiot will turn into a nurturing, holistic supervisor. And he's not saying to hurl your cellphone, PDA and laptop into a river.

But he is saying to step back a few paces, relax, do your best, and smile once in a while. And don't let personalities or technology control your life.

When you get to that place, Zolezzi says, your work product will improve. Your life will improve. Your health will improve. Your human relations will improve.

And your career will improve - even if it means eventually, politely, giving Mr. Control Freak two weeks' notice.

So you can apply for a real life.

The 80% philosophy

When you do something, just do it to 80% perfection. Then only you can do something without freezing.

The most important step of doing something is to start.

Meditation could be only a ritual of detachment

A formalization, a discipline, a ritual, of detachment.

The meditation process could be fundamentally the same with detachment.

Detachment works

I have not use very much of detachment because there are some thought of school which says detachment deadens the feelings, which is half true, but if there is too much emotion you have borderline personality disorder and chaos, detachment pulls the balance back.

And i notice detachment is the attitude of the adult. The more evolve you are the more attached. Also there is the synthesis of attachment and detachment to something higher like detached involvement.

Detachment gives you back control.

Thus detachment is very important. Perhaps it is center of all the techniques i am trying to do.

Here are some links


http://www.redroom.com/blog/abrahammertens/the-power-detachment

by Abraham Mertens

April 16, 2009, 5:26 pm

Today I had a meeting with Joel Kimmel, who I've rowed with at the Marin Rowing Association for years. Before a couple of weeks ago I didn't know exactly what he did for a living or that much about him. I've chatted with him many times on the water or in the boathouse about rowing but don't really know him at all.

It turns out that Joel has lived a life filled with adventure, business success, and deep insights about communication and the power of language to profoundly change the way that we process life. A quick synopsis of Joel's life is that he grew up in Ohio; was drafted to serve in Vietnam; was stationed in Germany and ran the Army's ski school there while competing as a ski racer; was injured so severely while skiing that his doctors told him he would never walk again; he learned to walk, run and row and even participated in ulta-marathons; founded multiple successful businesses; and has been married for 38 years to the same woman and has two talented and successful daughters.

For the past twenty years Joel has worked as a management consultant who uses ontology and lessons about the power of langauge in business. Although it's more nuanced than this, Joel's point is that we need to remove ourselves from the chaotic and unfocused inner dialog that dominates our existance and instead take a removed view of our daily interactions. He encourages his clients to use language that focuses on how other people see their surroundings and problems in the workplace instead of having confrontations or unfocused discussions about how to proceed. By detaching from the cycle of immediate reactions and instead concentrating on how things look Joel teaches that we can get through life with more clarity.

While I was talking with Joel I kept thinking about how so many of the self-help schools and for that matter some religions stress the same point: If we can detach from the moment and view our actions through a different prism we can become happy and fulfilled. For example, I was listening to a radio show last weekend where a happiness expert reminded the listener to detach from thinking that achievement or success are the goal of work and to instead focus on the journey.

Connecting with Joel today reminded me that I need to make sure to connect more completely with the people that are in my life and that reactions to everyday events can be viewed through various prisms. The shape and color of those prisms can determine whether we succeed or fail.

http://www.heart7.net/emotional-detachment.html

Lessons About Emotional Detachment

Part 1: The Incredible Shrinking Relatives

Learning to set boundaries is part of the healing process after any form of abuse. This task can be complicated. It seems there will always be people who want to upset you. They could be family members who deny that abuse took place. They could be the offenders or their allies who are still a part of your life. Their comments, expressions, or attitudes can hurt you and make your life much more difficult.

You handle people like this by using an emotional tool called detachment. Like any other emotional process, it is a skill you can learn. It takes practice. But keep working, and you will diminish the effect these people have on your life.

EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT LESSONS

• Make Them Smaller
• Let Go
• Stock Phrases
• Set Boundaries
• Handling the Rough Stuff
• Take Care of Yourself First
• Practice, Practice, Practice

Make Them Smaller

The first step to detachment is to shrink the unhealthy person. Make the person a smaller part of your life by making other parts of your life bigger. Start a new hobby, a job, learn something new, focus on other people, join a club, take a class, have more contact with friends - you get the idea.

This equation in emotional mathematics means adding things to your life automatically reduces the space taken up by unhealthy people and relationships. Expand your horizons. Occupy your mind with new ideas. The unhealthy person will occupy a smaller portion of your mind, and therefore your life.

Let Go

The unhealthy people in your life use guilt to keep you enslaved. When you begin to detach, you are upsetting the status quo, and they will use guilt to bludgeon you back into place.

Resisting this tactic is difficult but not impossible. Learn to recognize the guilt trip. Think about why they are doing this. You are trying to take care of yourself, and some people will go to great lengths to stop you. They want to maintain the status quo.

Accept that these unhealthy people will never grant their approval. This is a vital part of letting go. In fact, withholding approval is a most effective weapon to keep you enslaved. When you let go, and honestly don't care if they approve of you, they will have a hard time hiding their surprise. Watch as they mentally scramble to think of another tactic to keep you entangled.

Realize that the other person's problem is not yours. One of the hardest lessons to learn is that no matter how hard you try, you can never, ever, ever change how another person acts. The only thing you can change is your reaction to them. You can fight the guilt they inspire. You can take care of yourself.

Stock Phrases

The unhealthy people in your life often try to catch you off guard, or will try to ensnare you in a hopeless problem. The response to both tactics is to memorize some stock phrases. Some examples: "Hm. Interesting." "Wow, that's too bad." Or my favorite: "Huh. What are you going to do about that?" The last one is very effective, since these people want you to fix their problems. This response turns the tables on them. You express interest without offering to fix the problem, and force them to offer solutions. Then you conclude with, "Well, that sounds like a good plan. Good luck with it!"

When I felt required to fix things for other people, I remember my therapist asking, "Has this person been declared incompetent? Has the state institutionalized them? No? Then they have the ability to act responsibly and fix this by themselves."

This good point inspires another type of stock response: flattery. "You're a smart person. I have confidence in your ability to solve this." How can they argue with that? Are they going to insist that they're not smart?

Part 2: Set Boundaries

Set Boundaries

It is critical to spend less time with the person you are detaching from. You can decline invitations. You can make excuses and stay away. You can claim illness. You can complain about your crowded work schedule, or how busy you are with the kids. Sure, you have been taught that it's wrong to lie. Well, in this case, it's good to lie. Taking care of yourself is more important than showing up every time. Besides, they lie to you all the time, don't they?

Another effective tactic using this point is to complain at length about how busy you are. The person you're detaching from doesn't care about your problems. Often, they want to talk about their problems. If they keep hearing about your problems, they may stop calling.

Handling The Rough Stuff

The person you're detaching from can be very abusive. Often, the reward they seek is to see the hurt in your eyes and the feeling of power they receive from being the cause of that hurt.

Recognizing this fact will give you unexpected power. The verbal jab is blunted when you know it's only meant to hurt you. And you can deny them the pleasure they seek. Don't debate the point. They want to keep the topic going because they know it's hurting you. Think of the verbal jab as a spitball thrown at you. If you laugh, or pretend you didn't hear it, or do anything else instead of looking hurt, it's the equivalent of ducking and letting the spitball sail by. Shrug off the comment as lightly as possible, and then bring up a topic of your own -- one that you know is distasteful to your tormentor. Doing this will deny them their reward, and give negative reinforcement. Eventually, they will stop attacking you. Bullies like an easy target.

Some examples are in order here. I know a man with verbally abusive parents. He learned to respond -- every time! -- by talking about his brother, who was gay. He described his brother's romantic exploits with enthusiasm, knowing his parents were very uncomfortable with the whole subject.

I know a woman whose uncle was verbally abusive and constantly made comments about her childhood molestation by another uncle. This woman learned to respond by staring at him, appearing distracted (and pretending she wasn't listening), then pointing to a spot on her uncle's face, neck or arms, and asking, "Does that look cancerous to you? Maybe you should get it checked."

Her uncle knew she was saying that as a defense. But he still hated it. And he stopped bothering her.

Take Care Of Yourself

In every life, there are other parts that are good. You have a right and a duty to focus on the good parts. If you have a good husband and child, or sweet pets who adore you, but your mother is making your life a living hell, give yourself permission to focus your time and energy on the good things.

Remember the old phrase, "Listen to your gut?" Don't do that. The unhealthy people in your life use guilt and manipulation to inspire a gut reaction from you. I remember my therapist telling me, "Of course they're good at pushing your buttons! They installed them!" Instead, use your intellect to talk back to your gut feelings. You know that person is no good for you. You know your energies are better spent elsewhere. Take care of yourself. Do what's right for you. Say to yourself over and over again, "Taking care of myself must be my first emotional priority."

There's a book that is very helpful for this step. It's called Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. Buy it and read it.

Practice, Practice, Practice

When you start this process, realize that you will slip up. You have spent all of your life in your relationship with this person, so give yourself a break. Don't punish yourself if you don't detach perfectly. Learn from every experience and try to do a little better next time. Be patient and persistent.

Detaching is a vital skill to practice on someone you are unable or unwilling to completely shut out of your life. You can even still love that person if you want to, even though you have detached. Your goal is to recognize the relationships that are not good for you, and make them a smaller part of your life. You can still care about unhealthy people, if you choose. But at the same time, you can prevent them from running (or ruining) your life.


http://www.successconsciousness.com/detachment-success.htm

The Importance of Inner Detachment for Success

by Remez Sasson

We are often told that success requires motivation, desire and ambition, but there is another important ingredient, and this is inner detachment.

I hear you now saying, "What has inner detachment to do with success? Isn't detachment a state of indifference? How can one attain success with such a state of mind?"

These are erroneous assumptions! Inner detachment is not indifference! I am not speaking here about asceticism or abstinence. One can lead a normal, ordinary life, and yet display inner emotional and mental detachment.

I want to make it clear. True emotional and mental detachment is not a state of indifference, apathy or lack of energy. One can be loving, happy, helpful and energetic, and yet possess and display inner detachment.

True inner detachment manifests as the ability to think clearly and to be immune to what people think or say about you. It enables you to have more control over your moods and states of mind, and therefore enjoy inner balance, harmony and peace. It also helps you handle more efficiently your daily affairs of life, as well difficult situations or emergencies.

This is a state that comes from inner strength and inner peace, and not from apathy and indifference. It coexists with self-control, self-discipline and a focused mind. It brings inner calmness and tranquility that external circumstances cannot disturb or upset.

You will surely agree that all the above-mentioned qualities and abilities are important for the attainment of success!

Not everything always turns out as planned or expected. Plans sometimes do not work out, people don't behave as expected and unforeseen obstacles might stand in the way. All this can dampen one's spirit and weaken the motivation, ambition and faith, but a state of emotional and mental detachment will prevent all that. A person possessing detachment will not be affected or daunted by obstacles or failures and will try again and again.

While others become immersed in self-pity or in thoughts about failure and missed opportunities, the person who possesses detachment will be working on a new venture or trying a different approach. A state of inner detachment helps to forget failure and focus on the future and on success.

Lack of detachment is attachment, which means, among other things, clinging to old or outdated behavior and ways of thinking. Attachment manifests as fear to make changes, to progress or try doing things in a different way.

Lack of attachment is detachment, which equals to inner freedom and the ability to make and accept changes, take advantage of opportunities and adopt new habits.

Detachment goes with the ability to weigh the pros and cons of situations, circumstances and actions in an impartial way, and to make rational decisions, which are not based on moods. It helps to keep a clear and focused mind, and to recognize opportunities that others might not see.

Now you might be wondering whether it is possible at all to acquire this ability. Yes, it is possible, but this requires training and inner work. You will find below a few suggestions to help you start. Don't underestimate these suggestions. Follow them, and you will gain inner detachment, inner strength and inner peace.

1. Pay more attention to your thoughts, feelings and state of mind. A heightened awareness of your thoughts and feelings shows you where you need to develop and progress.

2. Remind yourself every now and then how important it is to be calm, relaxed and in control of yourself, your mind and moods, especially when you feel agitated or unfocused.

3. When you desire to say or do something that is not really important, wait a few seconds before talking or acting.

4. When aware of anger arising in you, delay your reaction for a few seconds.

5. Learn not to take everything said or done too personally.

6. Here is another thing you can do. It is very simple, but in most cases real hard. Try sometimes, not always, to switch off your TV in the middle of your favorite program. Though a very simple act, it requires real inner strength. If you can do so once in a while, you will be able to manifest more and more emotional and mental detachment, which will help you on your road to success and achieving your goals and ambitions.

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© Copyright Remez Sasson

Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are "Peace of mind in Daily Life", "Will Power and Self Discipline", "Visualize and Achieve" and "Affirmations - Words of Power".

Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.
Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.com
Books: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_and_books.htm

You have to be a bit bad guy to be happy and survive in this world

You must be 40% bad guy in order not to be crushed by this world. And really important is not to suppress hate your badness or else you will be unaware of the badness and project the badness out unconsciously.

What you hate will tend to control you.

With badness your character will be balanced.

Watch the Chronicles of Riddick.

I have this realization after a huge fight with your mom in which my behavior i cannot comprehend or control over and over again. Then i realize I am not aware of some parts of myself, and that suppressing badness i dont like end up controlling me.

Actually come to realize, most of my unhappiness in life is because i am too much of a good guy, out of balance.